Letter from beyond the end
by sparxxa
Summary: story of a life gone too soon...


Disclaimer: me? Own anything? Yeah right!

Previously on Angel…

Angel: I'll always help you out

Doyle: And I appreciate that

Angel: One day I'm gonna have to hear it

Doyle: Huh?

Angel: The story of your life

This fic is inspired by that conversation in Series One episode 5 "Rm W/a Vu", as although we got bits of his life in the rest of Doyle's episodes, he never actually straight- out told Angel the story of his life.

# This story contains a few spoilers for series one onwards, and series five "Your Welcome"#

To the memory of Glenn Quinn and to those who believe…..

Story of a life gone too soon.

Letter from beyond the end…

Angel put the videotape back in its case. It was the video of Doyle, acting in that advert for Angel Investigations that Cordelia made. She had been watching it earlier, remembering him and his sacrifice. She'd called Doyle 'The first soldier down' and now she was the second soldier down. Angel was all that was left of their original team, just the three of them fighting the evils of L.A. each night, following up the visions Doyle had from the powers that be or PTB as Cordelia called them.

A lot had changed since Doyle; they were on they're third premises, they owned the place that they had spent so much time fighting, evil had come and evil had been defeated; so many people had come and gone…. Cordelia, Wesley, Gunn, Lorne, Fred, Spike …Connor.  The biggest change was in him.

Doyle's death had affected him more than any death had up to that point; like he'd told Cordelia  in his time he had lost people and killed people… and he was dead, Cordelia had been right, tactless, but right nonetheless….but this was different. Doyle was his friend and he should've been able to stop him, save him. Doyle was the first person in a long time that he had considered to be his friend, the closest one he had ever had, Doyle knew him, understood him…but he was gone now. He had jumped instead of Angel, sacrificed himself to save them, but also gave them the chance to carry on fighting the good fight. Angel missed his Irish friend a lot, losing him had been horrible and he'd been shutting it away; he'd never really gotten over Doyle's death and had, had a bitter outlook on letting people get close, in case they are torn away from him again.

As he sat back at his desk he noticed something that had not been there before.

A white envelope with just his name on it. The handwriting seemed familiar but he just couldn't place it. He turned the envelope over and carefully opened it, removing the letter.

Dear Angel,

I know it's a long time coming but you once said that someday you would need to hear it, the story of my life, well today's that day.

Ok, so it's not the tale of adventures and women with loose morals that I promised…but it's the truth.

My father left before I could even remember him so it was always just my mother and me. I had a great childhood, got good grades at school, went to university, did my post-grad and became a teacher. I taught the 3rd grade at a local school. I loved it, teaching was my life, it wasn't just a job, it was fun. I had a great, normal life. I had a good job, nice apartment, friends; I even volunteered at the local soup kitchen every week, that's how I met Harri. We both volunteered there, we started going out, fell in love and got married. We had a great couple of years together, even planned on having a couple of kids, but then…. One day I started feeling strange, we put it down to a cold or something but it was actually my demon half coming through. My mother had never told me about it and as I said earlier I never met my father, so it came as a bit of a shock. We were both really freaked out but Harri accepted it, started studying up on demonology, wanting me to embrace my demon half, but I couldn't, I was so scared by it all. I felt betrayed by my mother for not telling me the truth, sickness over what I was and anger at the fact that Harri could accept this change but I couldn't. We started arguing a lot more, I quit my job as I couldn't be teaching children knowing that there was something really wrong with me, something not natural, I stopped going out and started drinking. In the end Harri couldn't take anymore so she left me, I loved her so much but she couldn't take what I had become, not the demon in me but the man in me. I started drinking even more and began to gamble and borrow money from demons just to get by.

One day though everything got worse. Another Brachen demon came to me to ask for my help against the Scourge…and I turned him away. I was still too weirded out by the fact that I was part demon to help any other demons, especially the ones I was like. I had my first vision that night. The Brachen demon and the others that he asked me to help protect were all dead…I was too late.

I started having more visions, and despite the splitting migraines and inconvenience, they changed my life for the better and led me to the best thing that ever happened to me. They led me to you and Cordelia. Being part of the team and helping you fight gave me hope, made me happy, let the man I was triumph over the thing I had let myself become. For the first time being part demon wasn't something that held me back; well apart from talking to Cordelia that is.

What I said on that ledge was true, I finally understood what it meant to fight the good fight and be tested. I jumped to save the two people I held dearest, the people who were closest to my heart, my true friends, my family. I died knowing that you were there and that you cared. That's more than I could've ever dreamed of. Thank you.

The past she never lets go but she also gives us the strength and the wisdom to go on into the future.

Be strong my friend and carry on fighting the good fight.

Doyle.

Cheers! Sparxxa.


End file.
